I can see and read disappointment on their face, in their voice
I’m not fit, I can’t take it
I wanna disappear, get lost,
Lose consciousness, forget it all, forget it
So this been my life for I don’t remember how long
You circle around me telling me how I’m wrong
Telling me how I’m weak
Telling me how it’s wrong to feel like that
Because well everyone feels like that
Because everyone is sad like that
Because everyone hates it all
Once in a while
But they go on with their life
They man up and live their life
So I should try to live my life
And stop tryna have my way
But I don’t know another way
And I have to silence my thoughts
I have to bury my ghosts
That try to sink me everyday
What would happen if I’d choose
Not to wake up anymore
What would happen if I’d just
Decide this is too much
What if I’m not interested anymore
What if your words of guilt and shame
Just don’t reach me anymore
What more can you do, If I decide
This is it for me, this is where I stop
If I choose to sit down and wait
On the station on my own
For my own personal train to come and take me home
What if all the grind and the pressure,
And the never-ending pain suddenly doesn’t do it for me
Even if that’s what you do, even if that’s how it works,
Even if that’s how life is?
Have you considered that I know that’s how life is and I don’t want it anymore?
What if you can't change my mind this time
What if there's no cheering up this time
And if you think that after all there is still time
You don’t get it you never got it it’s fine
What if I just wanna rest
What If I’m just really tired
What if I lost interest
I no longer feel inspired
What would happen if I stop
What would happen if I scream
What would happen if I lose
What would happen if they win
What would happen if I’m beat
What would happen if I’m numb
What would happen if I can’t
What would happen if I’m done
What would happen if I go
What would happen if I leave
I don’t know why I just know
This is what makes sense to me
It’s you and me
(You and me)
But is it really what you wanted it to be
(I’m sorry)
I know I haven’t been there
I’m sorry
I know it’s hard to understand
I’m sorry
I know you won’t get it but
It’s you and me
(You and me)
I know it’s not what you wanted it to be
But the noise is killing me
I know you can’t come with me
But all I can take is the sea
What would happen if I’d just walk right into the sea
With my headphones on, music loud and eyes shut
Forgetting to breathe, forgetting it all
What would happen?
I could try and be happy,
Or at least pretend to be,
Make an effort, look on the brightside
But all I see is noise
All I feel is tears
All I want is gone
Leave me alone
credits
from sea,
released December 18, 2020
"All music and lyrics and some of the mixing by grabyourface
Mixing and mastering by Gom Pilote (Unspkble, Between the Zones, Londead, Animal)"
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